The Cure - Lovesong
Anna Waronker – Somebody’s watching me
I wanted to write a bit more, but I understood that I won’t have time to write for a couple of days and I wanted to publish this the sooner the better.
And tell me what you think!
I Included Eff @mclovinn Nic/Jill @emgeemtee and a little of Kat and Aimee!
SORRY FOR THE TYPOS THO
Thursday, 07.02.13 ;
Since I’m back in New Temple,
Everything felt different between Nathan and me.
I used to spend every moment of the day with him and charish it.
Now, it felt like I was trying to escape from his long hugs and love –
running back home to Effie and her pancakes.
He always asked me where I went,
not knowing of my home.
And it annoyed me,
thought it was ridicilous and I knew it,
it still did.
And for that strange reason,
I was happy he didn’t know about the life I had outside his love.
I was happy for the big secret I kept.
I was happy because I could call it mine.
not even ours,
And it made me feel awkward and weird
Because I did love him.
And he made me a different person,
I just didn’t know if he made me a /better/ person.
She didn’t even move
or say a word.
Just sat there, looking at nothing at all
but at the same time –
it felt like she saw everything.
Really, everything –
All of the lies, sadness, joy, lust.
It freaked me out.
But then I fell for her even more.
She looked over and smiled.
And I couldn’t believe my eyes
or my luck,
that the angelic beauty is mine.
And she loves me,
I knew that.
She was the one to say it first,
she was the one to say it the most.
Quickly, she got up
And started rushing around the room,
Gathering her clothes,
“I promised Eff to meet her today” She said
“I was planning on keeping you in bed all day today…” She smiled a rushed smile. No giggle.
“What time are you going to be back?”
“Oh, I think I’m going to stay at her place for the night.” Her face was pale.
“How does she even afford a place”
And smiled at a joke that only she knew.
Always remaining a mystery.
“I’ll meet you at the harbor tomorrow, yeah?”
”I’m not going this weekend”
She just nodded,
Never questioning what I did on the weekends I didn’t go to New Temple.
It’s not like she didn’t know –
She knows very well I’m dealing.
But it bothered me that she never asked me anything about it.
‘All you need is love’ by The Beatles started playing on the radio,
I wondered whether that was how she felt right now.
Back in Italy,
We would sing this song
And just, love.
I remember how she used to whisper in my ear the words of the song,
I even remember how her hair was dancing in the wind,
splashing the night air with the smell of fresh strawberries.
Now her hair was in a bun,
yet I still could smell the weed in them.
She just smiled slightly,
Without saying goodbye
Or a kiss.
Without looking back.
I looked on the floor,
Where my jumper laid.
It was her favourite jumper,
She always had it with her.
I threw the lamp against the wall.
I was in a club on a Thursday night only because
George wanted to ‘have some fun’ and ‘let go a bit’
I told him that we’re going to New Temple tomorrow anyway
but he just shrugged.
I guess he was looking for a muse,
since Kat was like a ghost –
you can never know when she’ll approach you.
And just as George was leaving the bar
And the lady bartender winked at me,
I saw the ghost of a girl I’ve been looking for myself for a long time.
There she was,
Dancing to dubstep beats
but somehow making every move look majestical.
She was floating in a red dress
And a black knitted cardigan.
Her blonde hair in the air.
Her dress was floating so much
That it reminded me of the blood boiling in my veins.
I looked around to see if she left the same impression for others,
But most of them were just looking at cheap looking girls breasts,
Unaware of the girl,
/woman/, that made everything look magical.
She really did look like a woman now –
I didn’t see how she’s changed when I saw her in the apartment,
hand in hand with that druggie.
It looked as if her hair had gotten even more golden,
sparkling just as much as her light blue eyes.
The red dress was revealing her long, skinny legs
and perfect breasts.
She wasn’t as skinny as she used to be,
It was a good thing - now she looked healthy.
She was sexy.
And she was very well aware of that,
You could see it by the way she moved
from one man to the other,
never letting him do anything more than touch –
Always remaining a mystery,
It was weird how happy she made me feel,
not even doing anything.
And it was weird how much I craved to touch her,
even when I hadn’t talked to her for two years.
She caught my gaze and looked me in the eyes,
then just mimicked the smile on my face.
And I wondered if she knew that I was here before.
Taking a cigarette from a random man,
she made her way out of the club.
I followed because that felt like a natural thing to do.
When I walked out,
she turned to me and pointed at her cigarette,
playing it cool.
I smiled and walked closer the girl that could rise a devil up in me.
I lightened her cigarette,
She looked up and inhaled.
“Aren’t you cold?” I asked nodding at her ripped tights and cardigan.
“No,” she said “I manage to keep myself.. warm”
“Oh, really” I smirked
It felt casual,
like just another fling.
Exept it wasn’t.
“Did you really follow me out to make sure I’m not feeling cold?”
“No, not really but”
“I’m not gonna sleep with you” she cut me off
“How come?” I acted surprised,
Thought we both were trying to hide the amusment
“I love someone” She said
“And, besides, you /did/ break my heart. I should make you suffer a bit.”
“What are you saying?”
She just smiled and shrugged,
The mystery she was.
The heavy metal metal door swung open and a drunk George stepped out,
“ Oi, mate!”
“Yeah?” I turned to him revealing my company.
“Oh, you’re not alone.. “ He whistled “Oi, but that’s Al!”
“Hi George” Alice said, lighting a new fag.
He just mumbled something and stumbled towards us.
George put his arm on my shoulder and started telling us his stories about the women in the club he tried to shag.
I didn’t even care to listen –
I had my eyes and ears only on the pretty girl in front of us.
She said “Right” and “Yeah” every once in a while,
But it was obvious that she cared about George’s stories far less than I did.
“Hey, Alice,” George started saying, but then he started wobbling and nearly fell down.
That bad drunk.
Putting his arm on my shoulder again, and as if nothing had happened he continued
“I haven’t seen you since… that time we… made sweet love, yeah?”
“You mean f.ucked?” Alice instantly replied.
“Yeah,” she said, and surprised me “I’d love to stay and chat about your fuc.ks but I have to get home to Eff”
And without a word,
Off she was –
Clinging her heels on the paywalk.
Leaving me questioning her but mostly,
I knocked on the door,
And screamed for Effie to let me in.
I guess I should start carrying my keys with me.
Jack locked the door open,
“Oh, hi there” I smiled
“Aliiiceeee!” Effie screamed behing Jack’s back.
“What are YOU doing here, stranger?”
“Oh, just thought I’d see if my cat’s still alive” I walked in and looked at them
Jack had his belt open and he held his leather jacket in his arm.
Effie was only wearing a over sized The Rolling Stones T-Shirt and Calvin Klein boxer shorts.
“Did I disturb your goodnight fuc.k?”
Jack laughed out loud and Eff blushed.
I made a face “And, by the way, that’s /my/ Stones T-Shirt”
Both, Jack and Effie rolled their eyes and I walked to the kitchen.
“Okay, babe, I’ll go now” I heard Jack say
“You can stay..”
“I know. But I should leave some of you to Alice. I’ll see you tomorrow” Now it was my turn to roll the eyes.
After a couple of minutes, when she was done kissing Jack’s face off,
Effie walked in the kitchen smiling as bright as the sushine
”So, everything’s good?” I asked
” ‘S cool” she smirked ”was better when you didn’t walk in on us”
”So I /did/ disturb your goodnight f.uck!”
She rolled her eyes, keeping it cool.
”But, yeah... I’m happy with him” Effie said
”Well, as long as you’re happy” I smiled
”And how’s everything with Nate?”
”I want scrambled eggs! Would you like some?” I asked
”Yes, please! I’m starving”
”Hot sex can do that”
”Oh, shut up!” She laughed
”Is Reed coming for pancakes tomorrow?”
She looked at me with a grin on her face
I laughed ”What?”
”I just never can understand what’s happening in your head, Alice Enny Wonders”
”And why did you come home anyways?” She asked
”What? Now I can’t come home?”
”It’s three. In the night”
”I went clubbing”
”Oh. ‘s it alright?”
”Yeah.. Yeah, it was cool.”
Friday, 08.02.13 ;
Reed came for pancakes.
It was like a dance –
The way he tried not to touch Effie,
While she was dancing all over the place.
It was impossible for him to escape her,
And he still tried so hard.
Whenever he caught my gaze, I winked at him
as if saying ‘go on. He’s not here. It’s your chance’
I laughed when he spilled milk
And Effie would say a joke.
He would blush.
I would laugh again.
”Why are you so happy?” Effie asked
I just smiled and blew her a kiss,
She made a face at that and laughed.
Reed made a weird joke that I didn’t even quite understand,
And then he just continued to stuff the pancakes in his mouth.
I smiled at him.
”Alright, pretty boy” I ruffed his hair
”Why are you so annoying today? Usually you would be the one dreaming about killing everyone”
I stuck my tongue out and took my plate to wash it.
”That’s a pretty dress.” Effie said, looking at me with a weird look.
”Fanks” I cheered and spun around, letting the light floral dress and the red cardigan float around me.
Effie still had the same look on her face,
And I wasn’t sure if it’s a good look or not.
We walked to the boat hand in had with Effie,
Reed was casually following us a bit behind.
I would turn around and call him to walk faster,
Eff would scream ”Yea, sucker, c’mon”
And the three of us would laugh.
Reed was happy until we got to the boat and Eff threw her hands around Jack,
He became grumpy and unspeakable then.
He even commented on my ‘awfully short dress’,
So I said that he’s a ‘fu.cking idiot and a w.anker’
And went to drink with Nic.
It still confused me.
What didn’t confuse me was the booze.
It was good.
It felt good.
And it was better to get drunk thank high.
But knowing New Temple – I’ll probably smoke some pot.
Or eat a brownie.
Maybe, okay, probably having some pill from Kat.
”C’mon, Ali” Nic mumbled
We got off the boat.
I saw Effie sprint with Jack, hand in hand.
And I saw Reed drinking a bottle of beer next to George, who winked at me.
I saw David, smiling at something his friend was telling him.
And I saw Aimee, trying hard not to look Ian in his eyes.
Nic or Jill took out more booze out of her bag and I laughed,
And we sat on the beach listening to five hippies.
They told us stories about how they first came to New Temple.
I only later noticet that Kat’s mum was there too.
And I wondered if they still don’t talk.
But Kat’s mum made really nice joint’s –
I couldn’t resist.
Each had a spark of fruit in them,
I got apple, Nic said she got oranges and a old man with funny hair got strawberries.
It was full of suprises.
It was magical.
When It got dark, Nic and I wanted to dance
So we left the hippies and ran trough the woods.
Her hair were dancing with the wind,
My hair were dancing with the wind.
Time after time, we would fall and laugh about it.
I scrached my tights and back,
My hair was full with leaves and branches.
But we made it to the gig.
There was a band playing covers of Kings of Leon’s song’s.
”I looooove them!” I screamed
”Me tooooo!” Nic sang.
I was about to dance with Nic but I felt two hands grab me,
I turned and smiled at David.
He laughed and said something about my eyes and them floating.
I thought about my dress.
I leaned in and said ”You smell nice”
”It’s just beer and weed” He said and brushed my hair back.
” ‘S still nice”
He laughed and so did I.
”Well, you’re something,”
”I /am/ something” I smirked
I had a feeling like he’d know where it all would end,
But I felt clueless.
”But you’re something too”
”Yeah? And what’s that?” He smirked
I bit my lip.
What was I even saying.
He looked at my lips.
”Would you like me to kiss you?” He asked
”I don’t know”
And he did.